From Gramps

Scott Schaertl plays junior high Lacross. I know; I've seen him do it. We missed one of the three games he's played so far this spring. He scored a goal in the one game we didn't see. Highly inconsiderate. No respect for the elderly. I'll have to talk with him; not, however, when he's holding his big stick!

I think that whoever invented the game of Lacross was a sadist. I'd never seen a Lacross game until two weeks ago, although I'd had some verbal exposure through Mike Schaertl's vivid descriptions of his own near-suicidal forays into the sport.

Talk about sadism. Not only do the rules allow contact only seen in other sports in the form of line backers assassinating running backs, they allow EVERYONE to carry a big stick with which to smite opponents (and sometimes team mates)any place on their bodies except on their legs below the knees. Fortunately, there is head gear and there are shoulder pads -- and not much else. We saw Scott get knocked gludius maximus over teakettle, roll twice and then get up and charge into what is called in Rugby a "scrum." I don't know what they call it in Lacross, but it looks a lot like a bar room brawl (I've been in a lot of those, you know!), except that there seem to be rules on how many times and how hard you can hit someone with your stick before the ref throws the flag out of his pocket -- and the guilty player out of the game. There are time penalties, but I didn't see any penalty boxes, as in ice hockey. When a player gets kicked out, there's probably a lot of cussing at the high school, college and professional levels. At the junior high level, they cry and say, "It isn't fair; he hit me first!"

If I ever learn the rules, I may come to appreciate Lacross. In the meantime, I'll just concentrate on trying to keep track of where the little white ball is and whether or not Scott is on his feet and not bleeding too much. Go, Scott!